


The Burdens We Carry

by Serenittybittydipity



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Based on A Quiet Place (Movies), F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:42:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenittybittydipity/pseuds/Serenittybittydipity
Summary: He should have moved faster. He should have placed Falco down quicker. He should not have gotten paralyzed in fear by the sharp movement in the woods, the deranged and violent screeches of the monsters locating the source of the toy's sounds. He should not have gotten stuck on the expression of fright on Ben's eyes-- those beautiful gray blue eyes he got from his mother--for causing noise and yet not understanding the danger... the danger...Had Eren burst into a sprint just a bit sooner...Maybe it would have been him being torn apart instead of his son...A Quiet Place AU
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Mikasa Ackerman, Rivamika is squint and you miss it
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	The Burdens We Carry

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a lot of drafts and outlines for potential stories I wanna play with and I completely forgot I had this one in the works (never underestimate the power of a good wine after a long day) hope you guys like it

How could a child possibly understand danger... when they cannot comprehend the evil lurking in the dark?

How could a child possibly understand why a toy would cause such fear in his parent's eyes? Why his father would kneel quietly and take the innocent battleship from tiny hands before signing;

_Loud. Danger. Quiet. Safe._

Ben didn't know. He had no way of knowing. He couldn't understand. 

In the end, Eren understands that there was no evil or desire to harm from Gabi. She saw a child with large tears in his eyes, gazing longingly at a battleship toy, signing sullenly _ocean_ and decided that in this fucked up world... there was no need for any more tears if they could help it. He knows the children he cares for now are not to blame.

The blame is all his.

He should have moved faster. He should have placed Falco down quicker. He should not have gotten paralyzed in fear by the sharp movement in the woods, the deranged and violent screeches of the monsters locating the source of the toy's sounds. He should not have gotten stuck on the expression of fright on Ben's eyes-- those beautiful gray blue eyes he got from his mother--for causing noise and yet not understanding the danger... the danger...

Had Eren burst into a sprint just a bit sooner...

Maybe it would have been him being torn apart instead of his son... he would have gladly given his life to do it... 

But he didn't make it.

He failed. 

Their son was gone.

A gentle touch on Eren's shoulder startles him, breaking his mind from the memory haunting his every waking moment. He recognizes the touch over his clothes, knowing no one else is allowed here. 

He blinks, realizing he had pressed the welding device in the wrong part of the hearing aids' receiver, ruining yet another piece he had salvaged. 

He swears mentally at himself, emphatically sighing but restraining from letting the word push out his tongue. He places the equipment down, glancing up then and sees Historia, gazing down at him softly.

 _Are you alright?_ Her hands, slender and skinnier than he finds comfortable, sign. She tilts her chin, and he notes she had removed one of the ear buds from her ear, the white cable singing past her face and over her chest. 

Eren nods, smiling wanly, gathering the hand she places back on his shoulder with aching fingers. He realizes then they ache from how hard he had been gripping to the equipment he had been trying and failing to make work. 

_Fine._ He signs back, pressing a kiss to her knuckles and holding her skin to his face.

Her other hand caresses through his hair, pushing the long locks and strands to frame his face, gently caressing stray cow licks from the edge of his scalp that insist on straying back over his eyebrows. A quick glance to his work and she looks at him, a flash of hope brightening her blue eyes.

Eren's shoulders slump, eyes closing tiredly. He shakes his head against her palms. He hears her sigh. She steps forward just as he turns in his chair, arms and hands reaching for one another to embrace and hold. 

Before everything fell apart in their world, Eren had fallen in love with Historia like one falls back in love with an ancient part of their own soul. Very few people could read him like she could, and it was in the unspoken conversations that he had found in her eyes that he found his heart aching for the way he didn't need to suffer words out. And even when she tried, she always managed to find the words for him. 

She still does. He doesn't have to say what haunts him, because he sees the same ghost in her eyes, hears it choke her throat as she weeps every night in his arms, sees its shadows in the corners of her eyes and erasing smile lines from her lips. 

Her lips press to his forehead, gentle kisses over his hairline and he doesn't hesitate to press his head against her chest, pressing his own kisses to the warmth of her sternum, swelling breasts cradling his skin. 

This close he can hear the faint melody pouring out of the swinging ear bud. An old love song with a pleasant piano rhythm that he recognizes. It had been one of the songs she had insisted they play during their wedding, even if it made his nose curl at its corniness, Eren obliged her. The song carries a happy memory.

He pulls away to look up at her and finds her blinking down at him, expression soft and almost vacant except for a gentle curl of love she has only for him.

Even now, she clings to happy memories...

Eren pushes up from his chair, glancing quickly at the monitors of cameras around the estate he had placed, everything was as it was. Idyllic countryside hiding the nefarious creatures hunting each sound of life they could identify. One of the monitors shows Falco doing push-ups, strengthening his body quietly by the spot near the generators. Another shows Gabi pacing by the cornfield, a tick she had taken to doing since... since.

He looks away and back at his wife, she doesn't step away from him and she even has to crane her neck up to look at him.

Everything is safe. 

His hands lift to push her hair, golden strands glinting from the daylight pouring from the window near the edge of the ceiling. His fingers caress the edges of her face and after a moment he drops his chin to press his forehead to hers.

Like this, he can feel her safe in the cradle of his arms, wrapping her protectively to his chest, warm, hearts beating against their ribcage.

Between them the space is different and Eren drifts his focus on the next worst and best part of his life.

Her belly has swollen significantly in the past few weeks, her pregnancy is no longer a hidden secret any of them can afford to hide. His heart strains as one of his palms slides to press against the material of her dress and to the side of her stomach. 

They had announced the news she was expecting so shortly before everything changed, before the news shook and violently changed the world in the months that came. They had been forced to flee, they had watched friends die, they had seen how world governments toppled to a force they had no idea how to kill except learn how they hunted. 

And now one of the most terrifying things of all that could potentially expose them to the creatures hunting them was growing inside Historia's womb; blameless, unknowing, deserving nothing more than the same chance for them to live like he lives and breathes. 

As if sensing the same dark paths that Eren's mind has fallen into, Historia shifts. He blinks to meet her gaze. The blue of her eyes hides the agony of their predicament but not well enough from him. 

Her hand slides across his cheek and Eren almost believes she's going to kiss him except he notices the subtle sound of music has gotten stronger in his ear. He realizes what she's doing when she presses the earbud into his ear.

The song has changed, and the lyrics say all she needs to tell him, all he needs to hear...

_...Can see you're lost, I see you strugglin'_   
_Can't even tell your friends from your enemies_   
_But you can come to me_   
_Lay your head on me..._

Eren huffs, slightly amused by her ability to once again cut through the darkness in his mind and hold his hand through it. 

She smiles at him and their faces close in to press their foreheads together, noses aligned gently. Eren starts to sway, slipping a hand under hers in a dance.

Historia sighs and follows. 

They're alright now. They'll be alright then. Eren's fingers on her belly press around the swell and faintly notices the slightest shift and bounce of the baby within.

_I'll protect them all. No matter the cost._

_I should be the one to go._

Gabi's eyes are hardened stones, determined and unmovable. She stands by the mouth of the sanded path they take to leave the grounds, dressed to hike quietly through the woods in the thick coat of her late uncle, clothes warm for the chill the evenings bring. 

Eren doesn't spare her another glance as he gathers his frustration in a spot under his tongue. He busies himself making sure Falco's pack is tied securely around his chest and arms. He tugs the material a bit harder than necessary and gives Falco a small pat on the head for making him stumble. 

He looks and sees the hidden anxiety clenching in Falco's jaw, faint tremors of fear coming in restrained force in his lip. 

Eren stands and looks back at Gabi, who is fully glaring at him firmly. He shakes his head as he signs. _No. Stay._

She's ready for him, her hands coming up to sign in a heated flurry of fingers and stout motions over her face and toward Falco.

_Look at him, he isn't ready! You know I am. I've been able to make this trip before many times with Uncle Reiner. Why won't you trust me?_

Eren stiffens when he sees her hands sign uncle before signing strong with an R at the end. It's always been how she signs his name, even if everyone would spell it out. 

He pointedly signs Reiner's full name as he responds.

_Reiner is gone, Gabi. I need you here to stay with Historia._

Gabi's hands begin signing a response, furious. Eren steps in close and catches her hands with his, kneeling down to her eye level. He shakes his head firmly.

Gabi's eyes well up with frustrated tears. Eren brings her hands down softly to her sides as he signs between them, his back obscuring what he tells her from Falco and Historia.

_I'm leaving my most precious treasures in your hands, little G. Please keep them safe._

Gabi scowls at his hands before firmly looking down at the ground. Without another word, she turns and storms off, bare feet barely making a sound over the sanded path back to the barn. 

Eren watches her go before he drops his head and sighs. He stands up and dusts his pants off before turning to Falco who stands gazing after Gabi with a pained expression, he looks back at Eren. Eren nods before he looks past him to see Historia standing by the porch, bracing a hand to the rail. 

A silent supplication to return safe and sound from her eyes makes him nod determinedly. He moves back to the porch, reaching for her to press a final kiss to her lips.

"Red if you need me," he says quietly, against her lips, barely over a whisper. She nods against him before letting him go.

He motions to the long lines of lights over the crop of corn and the estate as he walks away, signing, _I will be watching._

Historia nods and waves them goodbye.

He motions to Falco and the boy hurries after him, the sand muffling their bare feet as they walk through the tall rows of corn. 

It takes an hour of walking before they arrive at the large wheat silo, its white edifice piercing the sky like a beacon you could spot miles away past trees and hilltops. As they approach, the tension in Eren's neck and shoulders eases when the spot the perimeter alarm. Red lasers inscrutable to the naked eye notify the main compound of any movement through the line. Eren recognizes lines of paint drawn on the bark of trees to alert any human survivors of the guard system.

Eren lifts a hand towards Falco. The boy flinches, freezing in step, his eyes wildly scanning the trees around them. Eren shakes his head and gives him a slight smile. Falco's shoulders drop, watching with wide brown eyes as Eren points to the markers on the trees.

_Red lasers. Fence. We're safe now._

Hope burns into Falco's expression and it brings lively color to his cheeks. Carefully, Eren guides Falco across the perimeter and the proceed until they find the clearing leading to Levi's Farm.

Falco brightens when they round the bend of trees and sees a line of people waiting for them by the edge of the group of houses. He glances up at Eren who nods his encouragement.

Falco takes off into a run, his pack bouncing on his shoulders some as he finds and runs into the waiting arms of Pieck. She holds him tight while Falco shakes and sobs as quietly as he can. Beside her stands the stony-faced Porco, who nods at Eren. Levi is approaching quietly, chest harness firm against his shirt, the black batons at his back at the ready. That much alarms Eren. 

His eyes search the line of people approaching or waiting already, his stomach drops when he notices two people missing.

His eyes find Levi again, demanding questions in the gaze he bears on him.

Levi signs, _Report to the Barrack._

Eren's mouth sets in a grim line. He follows and finds Annie waiting for him from the line. She walks toward him. 

Close enough, Eren reaches and grabs her arm, his stomach squeezing with fear. 

" _Mikasa?_ " He says, quietly. Annie says nothing, nudging her chin after Levi. He doesn't like how pale she looks and there's a bruise growing on her jaw that looks fresh. Eren nearly forces her around and begin explaining but a swift glare and tug from Annie dislodges her and urges him to follow.

Eren swallows tightly and does so, fingers tightening into fists. The tension comes back with a vengeance as the group approaches the lone building leading to the underground barracks. 

The energy of the camp is darker and it worries at his stomach with enough tension to make him feel safe.

His heart is pounding in his ears by the time they make their way underground. All of the walls have been soundproofed and edges oiled to reduce unnecessary noise as much as possible. The tension in the group is higher as they cross the main room and the doors close.

Eren doesn't trust himself to speak until Levi takes him through to the clinic. The barracks is no more a large basement than what it sounds, the same as the rooms he has for his own home but larger, for a larger scale of people. Enough to house thirty people. But it wasn't a perfect solution to their major problem.

Finally they enter a room and Eren spots Mikasa and Armin laying in the cots. Mikasa is sitting up, left arm bandaged and held to her chest. Beside her Armin is laying with his head and eyes bandaged, unconscious.

"Mikasa!" Eren exclaims and it sounds loud and gruff in his ears as he all but runs toward them. She winces when she hears him but doesn't look at him.

Levi steps in front of him, placing a hand up to keep him back. Eren nearly barrels into him but stops.

"Now that we can speak," Levi says, voice low. "I need a status report from your end first before you go any further."

"What happened? Why are they injured?" Eren demands.

"Status report first." 

"The corn is fucking fine, Levi," Eren snaps. "We have enough fresh corn harvesting now. Gabi is back taking care of Historia."

Levi eyes narrow, "Have you seen any sign of them?"

Eren blinks before frowning, knowing what Levi was referring to. 

"...No. not since we lost Reiner and Colt in Liberio four months ago." 

"We have seen six new bats appear in the area," Annie speaks up then, her voice emotionless as always. Eren turns to look at her, eyes widening.

"Six?" He says, heart dropping. His mind jumps to his wife and child at the farm, Gabi overcome by the danger and unable to escape as Historia tries to protect her and their unborn baby. "Where?"

"Marlo in the silo down west sent is the report over the radio," Levi says. "Their farm went radio silent a week ago. Mikasa and Armin went alongside Carlo, Maes, Niccolo and Sasha to check on them..."

Eren looked at Mikasa from over Levi's shoulder, her face covered by her black hair, expression downcast, fist clenched tight on her lap.

Eren realizes then what Levi is saying and his chin drops.

"Were they the only survivors...?"

No one says anything and Eren sighs.

"Fuck," and this time he is able to pour all feeling into the only chance he's been able to say in weeks.

"Historia's due date is approaching," Eren says after a late lunch. The group sits around a large table, Mikasa and Armin left to rest from their injuries. 

"How much time now," Levi asks. 

"A few weeks," Eren says, eyes on his empty plate, smoked jerky and lentils wiped clean. He looks up at Levi.

"I came to ask if you can hold her here when the baby comes."

"And put all of us at risk?!" Porco snaps before Levi could respond, pushing out of his chair. "We've been struggling with more bats appearing in the area and you want to throw a baby into the equation?!"

"Pock," Levi says firmly. Porco throws him an incredulous expression, Pieck places a hand on his arm and he sits back down, stewing in his own irritation.

"I know I don't have a reason to ask after what happened four months ago," Eren says, his head bowing low. "... I should have been in the mission that killed Reiner and Colt."

"Yes, you fucking should have," Porco hisses. 

"Enough," Levi says, glaring at Porco. "No one expected you to be here... no one blames you, Eren. You were dealing with enough."

Eren says nothing, still not trusting himself to mention Ben so soon. It's all he can do to acknowledge it with everyone else.

He clears his throat, "Please. I know I am asking a lot. But you have medicine, a safe room for the noise. I'll give your people more fertilized soil for planting than what we've agreed on... I wouldn't ask if there was no other way."

A short moment of silence fills the area. Levi sighs.

"The farm is overcrowded enough as it is," Levi says. "We still don't know enough about these things than how they hunt and that they're impervious to bullets and weapons. Hange's attempt to capture one alive ended with a lot of lives lost... even so, under any other circumstances I would say yes..."

Eren sucks in a breath to say something but Levi cuts him off.

"But the answer is no."

Eren's stomach falls to his feet, his blood running cold. His body burns the shock off in a surge of white hot anger, fingers clenching tighter until his knuckles paled white.

"You have enough space," Eren says, voice trembling. "More food and medicine than you know what to do with--"

"We can help restock your medicine," Levi says. "I can give you supplies for when the time comes."

"THAT ISN'T ENOUGH!!" 

The chair behind him falls and would have clattered loudly if not for the soundproofed floors. Instead it hits the ground with a muffled thud, even so Porco and the others tense up and immediately go silent. 

Levi calmly pushes up to his feet before his hand launches up and catches Eren around the collar, forcing him down with a kick to his thigh to bring him to his height. Eren grunts at the blows and loss of balance, almost collapsing to the ground if not for Levi's hold on his clothes. 

"Do not mistake my sympathy and our agreement as permission for you to make demands like a petty child," Levi says coldly. He jerks his hold and drops him, Eren stumbles backward and nearly hits the fallen chair on the way down.

"We are all risking our lives every single day," Levi says, towering over him with a brutally dark expression. "All of us are fighting to survive and deserve the same reason to live. I have children in this farm who deserve to live too. I have my own wife to worry about since the latest mission nearly left her without an arm. I have my own family to protect, Eren."

"But--"

"If we didn't have the issue of these fucking creatures growing in number in our area then I would open the doors to yours and house you for as long as you need. But I can't do that without risking the lives of everyone here now. My answer is final."

Eren stares up at him, leg stinging and heart aching. Tears sting under his eyes and Eren ducks his head down. 

"You know I wouldn't ask if I didn't absolutely need your help, Levi..."

"I know," Levi says and Eren feels his hand wrap around his wrist to help him back up his feet. "I am sorry, Eren."

Eren sucks in a tight breath, the furious energy burning under his skin so bright he feels he might burst with it. 

"Go find Hange," Levi says. "She'll help you build something for the child. Pieck," she lifts her head. "Help Eren restock the medicine he needs for his family."

"Very well."

They move and Eren finds himself being escorted out of the room. The door closes behind them as they move back up to ground level and when the sunlight hits his eyes, Eren isn't strong enough to push back some bitter tears.

Eren and Falco have enough food and medicine to last their farm a good long while. Hange, to Eren's relief had already been designing a contraption to place the newborn baby within, enough to muffle the baby's cries and supply oxygen. Arrangements for Pieck and Jean, who had arrived with Connie with fresh fish and herbs, to bring insulation for sound proofing Eren's own basement rooms were made. 

They would deliver it in two days and help Eren finish renovating his own quiet rooms for Historia. 

They're setting up to return when Pieck follows along, kneeling down to pull Falco into a hug.

 _You can always stay here,_ Pieck signs to Falco, caressing his hair. It's also gotten longer, messy bangs starting to obscure his eyes. Falco shakes his head.

 _Gabi needs protecting._ He signs back, smiling sadly, but giving Pieck a determined look. _She doesn't want to return._

Pieck sighs, pulling him into a final hug. _You've gotten stronger, little falcon. Protect them._

 _I will._ Falco waves and they begin their return.

Pieck watches after them and Eren leaves a message for updates concerning Mikasa and Armin. The sun is beginning to droop in the horizon by the time Eren and Falco put good distance between themselves the large white Silo of Levi's farm.

The final stop is to check the river traps for fresh fish, Falco stepping close and nervous after Eren when they near the river thirty minutes later. 

The current is strong, fed by the waters trailing down the mountains after the heavy rain that fell two weeks ago. 

Two traps were empty but the third trap held a handful of trout. 

The water rushes besides them as Eren digs open one of the traps and grabs one of the fish to pass to Falco. The boy is quick to catch it in his satchel, working quietly and with a nervous eye in the environment around them. 

This close to the rapids, Eren places a hand to his shoulder, signing _Safe._ He points to the rapids, then his ears, and then back to the woods around them.

Falco nods. Eren is about to continue grabbing the last of the fish but something stops him.

"You didn't have to come back with me," he says. Falco stiffens but after a moment relaxes.

"Gabi is stubborn," he replies, eyes going down to the ground by his bare feet. "She swore she would never go back to Mister Ze-- Levi's farm... losing Reiner was like losing her father all over again."

"You both would be safer with Levi and the others than you are with me," Eren says.

Falco shakes his head, he looks up at Eren, and there's an admiration there that Eren finds he doesn't deserve here. 

"You've kept us safe this time. You took me in when my brother..." he trails off and his eyes crinkle in pain, enough that it burns across his nose and wells up in his eyes. Eren grabs him and pulls him into a hug. To his surprise, Falco pulls away quickly and rubs his face with his sleeves.

"I'm going to protect Gabi... just like your protecting Historia. I want to protect her and earn my place next to her."

Eren releases a short breath, wry amusement making his lips turn up in another smile. 

"You're a good kid, Falco." 

"That's why--" Falco says suddenly, catching himself at his own outburst. Eren blinks but says nothing letting him finish. Falco drops his head down, not making eye contact. 

"That's why... I've been working up the nerve to ask... please, forgive Gabi."

Eren reels, "Forgive her? What..."

"It wasn't her fault," Falco says, his hands wrapping tight around his satchel. Fish scales rubbing onto the material. "What happened with Ben wasn't her fault. She just wanted to make him happy... she gave him back the battle ship but she didn't put the batteries back in! Honest! Gabi would never outright put him in danger. She really did grow to love him. We both did. Ben was always wanting to play with her... please, Eren... please forgive Gabi."

"Falco..." the boy flinches, startling up when Eren places his hands on his shoulders.

"I don't blame Gabi for what happened."

A few stray tears fall down Falco's eyes, cheeks burning pink from how hard he's rubbed his face. 

"You don't?"

Eren shakes his head. "No. He's my-- ... he was my son. My responsibility. You all are. What happened was because I didn't do my job as his father to protect him. It was never up to you or Gabi. Do you understand?"

Falco's eyes swim with fresh tears, an old pain resurfacing to the top. "I'm... I'm sorry, Eren... if I hadn't been sick then... we wouldn't have had to have gone into town... and none of this would've happened... Benny would still be alive if not because of me."

Eren sweeps the boy into a firmer hug. This close to the rapids, Eren holds Falco's head to his chest and soothes him while he breaks down. The daylight was fading close to twilight as Eren allows a few short stray tears to escape his face.

"I promise to keep you guys safe. You and Gabi and the baby. No one is more important than the other, do you understand? I'll look after you. I swear."

No matter the cost.

Falco's hand clings to Eren's as they make their way back home, the dark having fallen much faster by the time they were climbing the final hill back. 

Despite the frustration in his blood, Eren thinks to the equipment Hange had given him, grateful that they at least have a plan of action set for when the baby came. He would need to make sure the oxygen tank Hange gave him would work with the cables he had back in their medical box. 

In any case, they still have time. Historia's due date isn't due for a while. Enough time for them to make sure she would be safe in the basement.

They'll be fine.

Falco's hand suddenly yanks Eren's and Eren breaks out of his reverie. He glances back at Falco's face, eyes widening when he sees the boy's expression bright with terror. But worse...

The light on his skin was bright red.

Eren's heart bursts into a run as they turn and run up the last few feet of the hill. When they reach the top, Eren's blood runs cold.

The strings of lights around the estate were light up and bright, pouring red light over the environment and all Eren could visualize was Historia in trouble... 

He explodes forward, running as fast as he can back to the house, panic burning hot and powerful through his limbs as he thinks of Historia, smiling down at him and wishing him to come back safe and sound. _Please be alive, please be alive, please, please...!_

He cannot think about Falco as he fights to match pace. He must move faster, run faster... _faster, faster, Faster!_

_Historia!!_


End file.
